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10 minutes with Jesus. Today: Could I Ever?

by 10 Minutes with Jesus
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10 minutes wih Jesus are group of Catholic priests who share friendship with Jesus, plus keenness to help young people of all ages to learn the art of loving Jesus and speaking to Him. You can find them in WhatsApp, Spotify, Ivoox, Telegram, Goggle Podcasts and Apple Podcast. Every saturday, we are going to share one meditation by 10 minutes with Jesus. Enjoy it.

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me, I adore you with profound reverence. I ask your pardon for my sins, and the grace to make this time of Prayer fruitful; my Immaculate Mother, St. Joseph, my father and Lord, my guardian angel intercede for me.

Start

Let us start with some verses from the letter of Saint Paul to the Romans, “for those who are led by the spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the spirit of adoption through which we cry, “Abba Father!” the spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs indeed of God and join heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we also may be glorified with him. I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us. For creation awaits with eager expectation for the revelation of the children of God.

The shining

We can see a shining example of this last zeal expressed by Saint Paul, that he considers his current sufferings as nothing, when placed alongside the glory of his relationship with you Lord, now and in the next life. The saints that we venerate today in the roman calendar, the north american saints also had the grace to express this same zeal, they were two jesuit priests, Saint Isaac Jones, Saint John de Brebeuf, and six lay Jesuit brothers, who were martyred between 1642, and 1649 in southern Ontario, and in upstate New York. Their courage… incredible, their faith… indomitable, their zeal to follow Saint Paul in this disdain of suffering for the good of souls… of highest excellence. Here we go again Lord, your Gospels tell me to not be afraid.

To share

Your Gospels tell me to share you with others in my life, by my deeds, by my words, and yet, oh Jesus, I find myself trembling, Are you going to call me to witness such as these, your holy martyrs? Did your holy martyr missionaries left family and home culture, and comfort for the wilds of New France, knowing that many souls were there, who did not know you, that were waiting for you? And yet Jesus, I know that they knew also that hardships awaited them, and very likely a difficult death. Questions come to my mind, Would I even go? Would I ever offer myself if I heard part or all of that call? Fannery O’connor has a very interesting short story called “A Temple Of The Holy Ghost” wherein, the narrator of the story, at one point relates her thinking.

The child, this narrator decided that she would have to be a saint, because that was the occupation that included everything you could know, and yet she knew that she would never be a saint, and a little ball later she says she could never be a saint but she thought she could be as a martyr if they killed her quick.

She

She could stand to be shot, but not burned in oil, she didn’t know if she could stand to be torn to pieces by lions or not, she began to prepare her martyrdom seeing herself in a pair of tights, in a grand arena lit by the early Christians hanging in cages of fire, making a gold dusty light that fell on her and the lions.

The first lion charged forward and fell at her feet converted, a whole series of lions did the same, the lions liked her so much she even slept with them, and finally the Romans were obliged to burn her, but to their astonishment she would not burn down, and finding she was so hard to kill, thy finally cut off her head quickly with the sword, and she went immediately to heaven, she rehearsed this several times returning each time at the entrance of paradise to the lions.

My life

Well, this is the kind of vacillation but for me more serious, between presumption and fearful despair that I go under. What I do if I was threatened with my life, to save it only by denying you? Oh my Jesus, I’m pretty sure I’m not of the presumptive type, Can I ask this of you Jesus? Is it fair to ask you not to send me to a bloody martyrdom? I pray for you to help me to know how I feel now, and how to think now.

Saint Isaac Jokes, and many of his companions, went with all these dangers and started their missionary work with the Huron indian tribe, they converted many. Isaac was captured along with a number of hurons, by the Mohawk indians, who were part of the Iroquois confederation. Many Mohawks were converted, and many of the hurons who were assimilated into the Mohawk tribe were newly baptized catholics. What joy this gave to those missionaries, they understood the depth of this, seeing God’s glory already in those souls who accepted the faith.

Years

Nine years after the death of Isaac Jokes, there was born a girl to these Mohawks, near the place of their martyrdom, she is known to be Saint Kateri Tekakwitha, the lily of the Mohawks, the first indigenous saint of north america. Are my eyes open enough to see the glory of the faith in a soul? Are my eyes only open enough to see the difficulties of planting the seeds of the faith and souls? Or helping them along the way of faith?

How shall I pray Jesus? Send me your grace, that I may be that child of God that is not afraid, send forth your spirit, and they shall be created, and they shall renew the face of the earth, send forth that spirit that guides the children of God to be fearless in what you ask of them. But what am I to do now? T. S Eliot in his masterful play, “Murder in The Cathedral” has one of his characters exclaimed the following in a homily, “Saints are not made by accident,” still s is a Christian martyrdom, the effect of a man’s will to become a saint, as if by man willing and contriving, may become a ruler of men.

Men

Ambition fortifies the will of men, to become ruler over other men, it operates with deception, cajolery and violence. It is the action of impurity upon impurity, not so in heaven, a martyr, a saint, is always made by the design of God for his love of men, to warn them and to lead them, to bring them back to his ways, a martyrdom is never the design of man,r the true martyr is he who has become the instrument of God, who has lost his will in the will of God, not lost it but found it, for he has found freedom in submission to God.

The martyr no longer desires anything for himself, not even the glory of martyrdom, so thus, as on earth the church mourns and rejoices at once, in a fashion that the world cannot understand, so in heaven the saints. Well Lord, well not scripture. I believe there’s wisdom here, now I can say, if it’s gonna happen to me or anybody Lord, you will do it with your grace, I don’t need to fear. Saint Thomas Moore riding from the tower of London, from which he would not leave till the day of his martyrdom, wrote a treatise on the sufferings of our Lord called “The Sadness of Christ.” In it, he advises us, as he brings us the scene of our Lord, prostrate on the ground in the garden of Gethsemane.

To fear

For if anyone feels his mind swelling with ungovernable enthusiasm, perhaps when he recalls this lowly and anguished, bearing of his commander, he will have reason to fear, lest our sly enemy is lifting him up on high for a while, so later on, he can dash him to the ground all the harder, but whoever is utterly crushed by feelings of anxiety, and fear, and is tortured by the fear that he may yield to despair. Let him consider this agony of Christ, let him meditate on it constantly, and turn it over in his mind.

Let him drink deep and health, giving drafts of consolation from this spring, for he will see the loving shepherd lifting the weak lamb on his shoulders, playing the same role as he, himself does expressing his very own feelings, and for this reason said anyone who later feels himself disturbed by similar feelings, may take courage and not think that he must despair.

Agony

Yes Jesus, you left us this side of you, on the ground in agony, knowing the weight of our sin, and the suffering that will befall you within hours, it was fearful and frightful, and this is very sobering for me at the very same time, very hopeful for me, for you know me in my weakness, you know me i my fear. I am on a journey, Am I not Lord? Is it the journey you want me to be on? How can I have this zeal to give away the faith if you don’t give it to me? What am I to do? Just ask it of you, What battles are you giving me to fight?

I think you’re telling me that I’m to fight the everyday battle against a whole host of small enemies, being a victor in so many small things. Will I go to bed on time tonight? Will I give into snacking during the day today? Will I give into daydreams? Will I fall for giving into moods, nursing hurt feelings that are not helpful or charitable? I think I hear you telling me Jesus, something I seem to know already, something you’ve told me many times before, “He who is faithful in little, will be faithful also in much.”

Little child

Help me to be that little child Jesus, help me to be that daring little child of God, and if I were ever to be thinking in terms of grandiose achievements, you’ll protect me for presumption, and protect me from despair; you’ll recall me the little things Saint Josemaria said, “Many who would willingly let themselves be nailed to a Cross before the astonished gaze of a thousand onlookers cannot bear with a christian spirit the pinpricks of each day! Think, then, which is the more heroic.” Saint Josemaria intercede for me, that I might find that courage for those pinpricks of each day, and offer them to Jesus as this little child that I am.

It´s the end

I thank you my God for the good resolution, affections, and inspirations that you have communicated to me in this meditation. I ask your help to put them into effect; my Immaculate Mother, Saint Joseph, my father and Lord, my guardian angel intercede for me.

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